Treasures of Gold

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
Luke‬ ‭2:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As the seasons change and the snap of cooler weather transforms the trees from green into garnet and golden hues, I reflect back on the last few years and on how much Hope has changed. She came home to us at two, so tiny and afraid. Now at five, she is emerging into a confident, joy-filled ray of light to all who know her. 

Hope is currently in Kindergarten at a local elementary school where she is receiving the extra services she needs. To our delight, she is growing and thriving in many new ways. She loves taking the bus each day to and from school. While she has few words to tell us how she likes school, we find her happily singing each afternoon when she arrives home. A song always in this girl’s heart. 

As for my mama heart, I have mixed feelings. I am grateful for all the support Hope receives yet I miss having her with us. Between school and in-home therapy every weekday afternoon, there is little time left in her days. I am having to learn to focus on the quality of time we have together versus quantity.

I yearn for the simpler days when I had all my little ducklings under my wing. We were a team, always together. A sweet friend once told me that I had a shadow of bright smiles always following close behind me. Now life is more fragmented and though my children do smile often, they are no longer close at my heels. My stair step kiddos are growing big, gaining more and more independence. My two oldest are actually taller than me. The other three creeping up near daily, it seems.

While this is all good, my heart also aches. Joy and grief intermingling as I hold each moment close, while simultaneously allowing time, like golden flecks of sand to sift through my fingers. I am not meant to cling to but to savor and celebrate each moment as it comes. I can not hold on to the past nor reach too far into the future. 

I can dream big and seek out the hidden treasures inside each child’s heart yet I have little control over the choices and paths they will eventually choose. I am only given this moment and I am entrusted with five fearfully and wonderfully made hearts for such a time as this. My role is to nurture, call forth and bear witness to the beauty I see within. 

As I sit and soak in the rich and sacred space of the here and now, I sense God’s presence. His mercy and love tenderly holding the past, present and future. It is here that my heart begins to expand. With hope-filled expectation, I hold these treasures close to my heart, welcoming what is. Making room to behold His glory and goodness, shining like golden thread, woven in and through each precious moment. 

A prayer for our loved ones: 

“I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”
Colossians‬ ‭2:2-3‬ ‭NLT‬‬