Tiny Seeds

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew‬ ‭17‬:‭20‬ NIV

I love gardening. Feeling the cool earth between my fingers. Planning, preparing, nurturing tender new life. Watching something grow to it’s full potential. Gardening makes me feel alive, more awake. Time slowing down, life humming, unfurling all around me. I am captivated by the smallest of wonders.

In this season of raising little ones, it has not been a easy feat to even partially accomplish the garden that I desire. It has proven to be a whole lot of hard work and very little to show for it.

This spring, I am determined to have a vegetable garden. So much so that I have incorporated our time in the garden as part of our science curriculum. What better way to learn about plants than hands on. Dirt under the nails, sometimes all over, depending on the child, their mood or the moment when I am most distracted.

Gardening with my children has proven to be messy and at times pretty frustrating. More so, many of our moments in the garden are bubbling over with happy joy, imaginative wonder. These moments make all the mess and frustration so worth it.

This is the first year that I am planning to plant most of our vegetables from seed. I have always wanted instant results not wanting to wait. This year I thought it would be a good year to try. If nothing else, it would be a great learning experience to watch our plants grow from tiny seed to something fruitful and beautiful. At least this is my hope.

Our family is learning a lot through our adoption process about waiting and working towards a goal one baby step at a time. That anything really worth having, takes hard work and determination. I keep telling my children we will need to be patient. That this is all part of the process although I think my heart needs more reminding of this than theirs.

The one thing God keeps impressing on my heart as we wait and as I also take baby steps each day toward planting our garden, is that he is working even though it is still invisible to my eyes.` In the tiny seed, hope is not lost. My primary job now is to have faith in knowing that He is moving mountains to bring our daughter home to us. That He is at working now, softening and healing her broken heart and planting seeds of new life.

This time of waiting is hard. To have peace when there really is no clear timeline and with so many unknowns and what if’s. Adoption begins from a place of brokenness. I know that it is bound to get a whole lot harder before it gets easier. God does not always call us to easy. He calls us to follow Jesus and He promises to never leave us nor forsake us.

As in gardening, a great deal of work is involved. Weeds with deep roots must be pulled. Hard, dry, rocky ground needs to be broken then fortified and cultivated for planting. It takes protection from the elements, tender care and time before a seed will begin to grow and a plant will ever produce fruit.

When the first signs of green life peek out from the broken earth, all the frustration and heavy weight of toil begin to fade. Hope bubbles up and with hands cupped, we receive a wellspring of sweet joy. With God-given strength, we are then able to rise up to face another day.

As I break earth, my hands cupping tiny seeds, I gently place one at a time into the cool earth. Safely tucking each seed under a soft bed of rich, dark soil, I continually pray. My faith and prayers, only small seeds. Doubt and fear constantly threaten to creep up and seep in but God continually reminds me in small ways that He is a BIG God.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6-7‬ NIV

He is doing immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine. He is the creator and sustainer of all life. He brings forth eternal life from the depths of darkness and death.

So, I will seek to see the baby steps, the mini miracles unfurling all around me. I will resist the dark, deep doubts and fears. I will keep praying my small yet mighty mama prayers. I am confident that He hears me and that He is working all things together for our greatest good. In His time, He will make all things beautiful.

In my coming posts, I will journal the progression of our garden through photos and the ways I see God working in the big and small as we wait. I will dig deep into His Word and share my God-sized desires for our daughter.

I invite you to join me as I pray mountain moving mama prayers. Expectant, hope-filled prayers on the behalf of our soon to be daughter.

Thank you for your continued support and encouraging words. So glad to have you on this journey with our family. You each add rich beauty along the path God has set before us. I am ever grateful.