Near to Me Narrative

I now see that owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do. ~ Brené Brown

We each have a story and we have all been told stories about ourselves. Tales have been spun through past generations telling narratives about those who came before us and about ourselves before we had words to form around our memories. As humans we make sense of life mostly through story. Some wonder-filled adventures, some heart wrenching dramas, some epic sagas. We are all made to be storytellers yet we must ask ourselves what story are we telling, what narrative are we living under? 

We have been told beautiful truths about ourselves but also false narratives about who we are. We unconsciously retell ourselves ugly lies that are so deeply entrenched in our hearts that they have become our identity. These lies were somehow taught to us with and without words, through actions and inaction, sometimes intentionally, mostly unintentionally. Reinforced by our own experiences, these narratives leave ridges, ruts and ravines deep within our hearts and minds. 

I have lived under these false narratives most of my life, etched into my subconscious from the very beginning:

I have to figure out life on my own.

I can’t depend on others.

I have to shoulder these burdens alone. 

I am too much AND I am not enough. 

I will fail, AGAIN.

I will be rejected, AGAIN. 

I will be abandoned, AGAIN. 

I am not seen and valued. 

I am ALONE. 

These narratives have followed me, like lurking shadows waiting around every corner. They have caused me to keep not only others but even God at arms length. I struggle with trusting and allowing myself to depend on anyone but myself. There are times that I am surround by a room full of people who care about me yet I can still feel desperately alone and unseen. 

Maybe this is just a part of our flawed human condition and the result of a broken and fallen world yet I believe we also live under and are made for a much greater and truer story. We may play only a seemingly small role in this larger than life heroic love story yet we can not underestimate the significance and impact we each contribute. 

This is something that I am just beginning to scratch the surface of. A new near-to-me narrative that God is gently and graciously teaching my flawed and broken heart to trust and believe. God is restoring and re-storying these broken places of my narrative and I am beginning to see a much clearer illustration of who I am in Christ and how He truly sees and loves me. 

His narrative goes a little like this:

I can do all things because he makes me strong. He makes me brave.

He loves me with an unconditional, everlasting love. 

He will carry the weight of my burdens. I can depend on Him. 

His gaze is always on me and I am precious and complete in His sight. 

I am chosen and He delights in me. 

He will never forsake me or abandon me. 

He is always with me and He is always for me. 

He is rewriting my narrative, ever near, tending gently to and caring deeply for each and every detail of my story. His desire is to free me from the narrative that keeps me stuck in old ruts, afraid of the lurking shadows and far from Him. He is my Author and Perfecter. Drawing me nearer, enfolding me into an ever truer narrative that is more glorious than any story I could  possibly imagine or write on my own. 

Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”

Jeremiah 31:3 NLT

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. 

Matthew 28:20b NIV

What story are you living under? 

Are there any false narratives in your story that you need God to restore and re-story? 

*All scenery photographs were contributed by my 16 year old son Abraham. They were taken this summer on his backpacking adventures with his younger brothers, my husband and their scouting group. What amazing stories they have to tell!