Let there be Light

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”

Psalms 139:11-12 NIV

There was a small dark room where my fears and pain were locked up tight. The stench of shame at times was overwhelming. The loneliness and lack of life unbearable. The darkness and death all-consuming. I would shut my eyes, pressing my face against my pillow, my pain turning inward. Pushing my fists hard into my eyes, I only saw pin pricks of light piercing the dark. I had no language around this loss. I was not given a voice to cry out. No sound of rescue, no foot steps heard on the other side of that door. I felt alone, forsaken, imprisoned behind the walls of my pain. 

Then a voice came sure and strong telling me, 

“Your pain was never meant to be a prison”. 

These words spoke from the unfolding of my future into the deep and rutted paths of my past. These words spoke life and longing and in a breath, they spoke, 

“Let there be light!’ 

In that moment, pure radiant light poured in through a wide open door. Like a warm welcoming embrace, wrapping and holding me, soaking into every aching, empty space. Time woven together, knitting all the broken pieces of my past, present and future into something new and more beautiful. I was never alone in that dark frightful room. Even the darkness is not dark to Him. He was always with me. 

Now this room is filled with light, the Father’s loving embrace and a young girl’s laughter. My pain was never meant to be a prison, only a prism, where His light floods in and through me and His glory shines ever bright. 

“You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.”

1 Thessalonians 5:5 NIV