Blog

I Will Sing: I Have This Hope

February 16, 2017 by Heather Mitchell 2 Comments

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’ Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.””
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:1-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Lord, This is the verse that you first placed in my heart, several years ago. The verse that helped me to believe and fully grab hold of this call on my life, on my family’s future.

You have taught me about who you are at a much deeper level through our adoption journey. You have helped me to walk boldly into this calling to adopt yet at times my faith feels thin. I find myself afraid of the unknown and worn out from waiting.

Even so, I have this hope in the depths of my soul. I know that you are faithful and you provide richly and generously. Today, I trust that you are at work in immeasurable ways even though the wait is long and silent. You are making a way and I need only to be still and rest in the truth of who you are. To God be the glory for ever and ever, Amen.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Corrie Ten Boom

[Part of the I Will Sing series.]

I Will Sing: We Dance

January 17, 2017 by Heather Mitchell Leave a Comment

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”

Psalm 37:4-7a NIV

Jesus, I am weary, my faith is tired. This waiting weighs heavy on me. Yet there is no need for me to struggle. You have already won this fight.

I am letting go.

I am surrendering.

I take your hand and we dance. We spin and my joy returns. In your arms, I am home.

In your arms, our daughter is home. You delight in her. You rejoice over her with singing. You are mighty to save! (Zephaniah 3:17)

In your arms, she is held and I am held. I wait for you, Lord. I will choose joy each day. I will seek your beauty. I will find delight in you.

Each day that we continue to wait, I will continue to put my trust in you. The day will come. Our heart’s desire will be fulfilled. On that day when our daughter comes home, your righteous reward will shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Oh, happy day! Round and round we will spin, a happy dance!!

To God be the Glory forever, Amen.

[Part of the I Will Sing series.]

Love Calls Us Home – Advent Reflections

December 21, 2016 by Heather Mitchell 2 Comments

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭31:3‬ ‭NLT

For the last three years, during the Christmas season, I have searched intently for a special Christmas stocking for our soon to be daughter. Each person in our family has a unique stocking and I wanted her stocking to be just as special. To little avail, I had not found what I was looking for, at least not until last week. On my way to one store in particular, a phrase crossed my mind, “Love Waits”.

I walked in, went straight to looking for stockings and what I found, took me by surprise. I believe it was God’s sweet mercy comforting my weary, mama heart, restoring my hope. His joy and peace raining down.

This was my sweet surprise,

I had hoped that our daughter would be home before Christmas. I did not anticipate us waiting so long to be matched. It’s hard spending another holiday with the knowledge that there is a child that is ours yet she is not yet with us. She is still so far from home. This Christmas morning, her stocking will not hang waiting to be filled to the brim with Santa surprises. Even so, our love waits, busting at the seams. Our hearts and our home preparing room for one special girl.

I never anticipated the deep and tender love that I would experience for someone I have yet to meet. How my heart strings would be pulled taunt by someone who is oceans and continents away. How my heart would physically ache and thoughts of her would constantly be on the forefront of my mind.

Through our adoption journey, I have also come to a deeper understanding of the tender and steadfast love that my Heavenly Father has for me. How He loved me long before I knew what love was. He loved me first, pursuing me and never giving up on me. No matter how sinful and broken I am, He has always loved me. I am His. Adopted. A Child of God. Nothing can separate me from His love.

The love I have for our daughter, this love comes only from God. He compels me to love as He loves. Loving our daughter first, before she even knows what love is. Pursing her, despite her brokenness and loss, never giving up on her. Even so, my love is limited, imperfect, selfish at times. My love will fail often and I will never be enough. Yet I know, that He will continue to fill me as I pour myself out. He is more than enough. His love perfect and unfailing.

This steadfast love surrounds our daughter in Bulgaria. His love is preparing a way, making all things new. His love is limitless, crossing oceans and continents, calling her home.

God loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son into a world that had no room for Him. He was rejected, dying a criminal’s death. All so we could be called, Children of God. All so we could have eternal life in abundance.

As Christmas Day approaches, may we each pause and reflect, asking ourselves if we have taken time to prepare room? Our homes may be brimming with gifts and busting at the seams with holiday cheer yet are our hearts waiting with renewed wonder and hope-filled anticipation? Waiting for a God who never fails, never gives up on us, never stops loving us.

He waits. His love brimming over, busting at the seams, offering life in abundance. Offering us a forever family, an eternal home.

Do we have the eyes to see?

God’s love surrounds us. Steadfast, limitless, always enough. Providing hope, peace and joy. Leading us onward, calling us home.

Rabbi, I want to see. Open my eyes, open my heart, make room.

I once was blind but now I see.
In you, I am no longer lost, I am found.

I am Home.

Pure Joy – Advent Reflections

December 17, 2016 by Heather Mitchell 1 Comment

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The beginning of this week our family made a trip to the snow for the first time with all four of our children. The kids were brimming with excitement yet we weren’t sure we would find snow. It had been a rainy weekend and much of the snow had turned to slush and had melted away.

Even so, we were hopeful. Directed by locals, we took a narrow, steep, curvy, less traveled road. We were told to keep going up and we should find snow. There was no sign of snow nor other people for miles. Then with amazement, we began to see small white patches in the cool shady valleys.

The patches were sparse yet we kept driving up, hope rising, we continued searching for a place to explore. Finally, we came to a dirt clearing and there tucked in a grove of pine trees we spotted a private, untouched nook of pure white joy. It wasn’t very big but it felt just right for our first snow experience.

We bundled up and clambered to our snowy oasis. It was a perfect spot for making snow balls and one round, stout, little snowman. Everyone playing, content and joyful.

Finding joy along life’s journey can feel a bit like our search for snow. It can feel like an uphill climb on a narrow, curvy, less traveled road. It takes a patient eye to see joy amidst the trails of this life. It’s so easy to become discouraged, wondering why life feels so hard. Seeing the barrenness in our life, the lack and loss and missing the bounty and abundance that is tucked deep in the shadows and valleys.

During the advent season, we can be reminded that many waited long and searched hard for their promised Redeemer. They held out hope that joy would come. Even so, many missed this joy because they search for something spectacular and bigger than life.

Those few, with a patient eye, searched hard, never giving up hope. Following the narrow way, on a less traveled road, they found pure joy in a humble stable tucked deep in a hillside. There, a tiny vulnerable baby was wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger. Joy had come on a silent night, before dawns first light, small, sweet and subtle. Joy for you, joy for me, joy for all the world. Joy remains today, waiting in the here and now. Yet do we have the eyes to see?

So often, I can fixate on the hard or barren places in my life. I wait for something spectacular, bigger than life to change my circumstances. My vision obscured, unable to clearly see the small graces and abundant joy tucked in the nooks and crannies of each day. Relying on my own strength, hope feels lost and joy is sparse.

Joy is NOT found apart from the hard or when the waiting has come to an end. It is found along side the trials and difficult circumstances. Joy sits quiet, waiting to comfort our sorrow and pain.

Joy is found in the purist form in our day to day, moment by moment reliance on Jesus. Knowing that He remains faithful and true, no matter how long the wait, hard the trial or deep the sorrow and pain. He fills the barren places and gives strength to the weak.

Following the narrow way, I lift my eyes to the horizon, looking beyond the barren places and the steep hills. With a patient eye, I begin to see. Tucked deep in the cool shady valleys, I find the joy that my heart longs for. This pure joy found only in Jesus. He has come, He is with me. He is the restorer of my soul and my joy for the journey.

Perfect Peace – Advent Reflections

December 6, 2016 by Heather Mitchell Leave a Comment

“Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us
from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace.”
‭‭Luke‬ ‭1:78-79‬ ‭NIV

God first called our family to begin the adoption journey in the Autumn of 2013. Now more than three years later, our family continues to wait for this calling to come to fruition. After such a long wait, I can easily become anxious and begin to wonder if our waiting will ever come to an end. Often darkness clouds my vision and panic sets in. Where is the light at the end of this long tunnel?

Before Jesus’ birth, I am sure many wondered when and if the Messiah would come. Thousands of years and many generations came and went. Four hundred years of silence separated the last Old Testament prophecies from the birth of Jesus. I am sure God’s people asked hard questions in the silent waiting? Where was God? Had He forgotten His people?

Yet God was at work in the long, silent waiting. He had a plan set in place from the beginning. His beautiful redemption story was continuing to unfurl. In His perfect timing, in the least expected yet most extraordinary way, he sent His Son, Jesus.

Oh, happy day!

Emmanuel, God with us. We need not be afraid nor anxious. He is the light that guides us through our dark tunnels. Our struggles and strongholds, unmet longings and open-ended waiting, our loneliness and heartbreak, He is with us through it all. In Him, there is no darkness, only light. He is our path to perfect peace.

Jesus is with us on our adoption journey. He is our light. He goes before us and He guides us through the uncertain darkness. The way is long and the silence is wearing yet God is at work in our waiting. He is doing immeasurably more than we can imagine. He has a beautiful redemption story slowly unfurling before our eyes. In His perfect timing, and I am sure in the least expected yet most extraordinary way, our waiting will come to an end. Our daughter will come home.

Oh, what a happy day this will be!

For now, as our family navigates through the uncertain waiting, I will keep pushing back the darkness, pressing onward. Step by step, following the path of His perfect peace. Light breaking through, I see. His redeeming beauty is unfurling all around us.

Wide Eyed Hope – Advent Reflections

November 30, 2016 by Heather Mitchell Leave a Comment

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself,
“The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.””
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:21-24‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This time of year, hope can be hard to find. When we do find it, it can seem hard to hold on to, a bit slippery. Hope can get lost in the hustle, the crammed holiday schedule, the food and gifts, the sticky relationships, the uncertainty of our current world. We may have regrets from years past, the yearning for that which remains unfulfilled or a void that can not be ignored. The ache of grief, cutting all the deeper with the coming festivities.

I know for me in the last few years of our adoption process, I have had to continually fight for hope. It has not come easy and during the holiday season it has been all the harder. The abundance of the holidays has only amplified our future daughter’s loss and lack. Our family is spending another Christmas waiting yet together. Having more than enough to share. While she spends another Christmas, waiting alone without a family. Nothing and no one to call her own. It breaks my heart yet I know it breaks God’s heart all the more.

So much so that He sent His Son Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us, to give us an eternal hope and future. Jesus has come for me, for you, for our daughter in Bulgaria and for the whole of this broken world. He made himself low, laying down His own life so that we could have abundant life.

Lately, I have been praying the blind man’s plea from Mark ‬10:46-52,

“Rabbi, I want to see.” (vs. 51)

I want to see Jesus in today. I want to see Him in my aching heart and my unfulfilled desires. In my brokenness, in those sticky relationships and the uncertainty of the future. I want to see Him in the sunrise, the crazy moments of my day, my child’s deep blue laughing eyes. I want to see Him in the ugly, the hard, the painful, the average, the long waiting and the breathtakingly beautiful.

This seeing, this is where hope is found. In seeing, I must slow to the rush that this season brings. Letting my heart and mind settle, being honest and open with my own weakness. Allowing His presence to wash over me so that deep down I will truly know that He is always a breath away. He is with me. He is my strength, my portion. In my waiting, He remains faithful and continues to remind me of His provisions. His day in and day out mercy. This mercy that is always new, never failing.

In this advent season, I am putting pen to paper. Slowing and simplifying my days. Taking time to reflect on all the big and small ways that I see Jesus. Advent means to prepare for Jesus’ coming. I will use this space to prepare my heart, giving words to my restless undercurrent. Each week, focusing on one of the four candles of the advent wreath, Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. My desire is to challenge myself, looking beyond my own circumstances, beyond my own soul clutter. Seeking hard after the eternal hope that can only be found in Jesus.

With wide eyed hope, I wait.

I invite you to pray with me,

“Rabbi, I want to see”.

Be prepared to be amazed!

[Photo credit: magicallightphotography.com]

Beautifully Bold

September 28, 2016 by Heather Mitchell 1 Comment

I stand only knee deep, on the edge of more, on the brink of bold.

The horizon wide, the water deep, the waves uncertain.

I can see You just beyond the shore.

My heart races, my breathing quickens, my legs feel weak.

You call out, “Come”.

With my eyes fixed on You, I boldly go.

The waves begin to crash over me and I feel that I am sinking.

Yet, in an instant You have me.

I am Yours and in You, I am bold.

I am exactly where I need be,

I am beautifully in, over my head.

““Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭14:28-31‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I am in a place where mere words can not fully express all of what I am inwardly experiencing through our adoption process. In the uncertain waiting, song has become my Thread of Hope. Stirring my stagnant heart and giving a voice to my wordless, restless groans. So, as we continue to wait for our fifth child, our sweet girl, I will lift up hands and heart and I Will Sing!

These two songs inspired this post,

Both songs have beautiful imagery. Each one, a powerful reminder that God is in my uncertain waiting. He goes before me and He will never leave me. He calms and quiets my restless, groaning heart. He strengthens me and He will sustain me, no matter what the future holds.

Today, my hope and prayer is that this post and these songs will uplift, inspire and encourage you as well.

In Him, we are beautifully bold!

I Will Sing: Steady Heart

September 19, 2016 by Heather Mitchell 1 Comment

“Send me your light and your faithful care, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭43:3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

It is always the darkest before dawns first light. The waiting seems to have no end and at times my faith wavers and the darkness begins to permeate. I continue to push back the darkness, letting the truth of who God is and always has been illuminate one faith-filled step after another.

Our four year old loves coloring pictures of our home. He repeatedly draws our happy yellow house with big windows and a bright blue door. Home, it is the sweetest place. Yet right now for me, it feels bittersweet. There is a void that remains. A missing piece, a longing yet filled. I continue to have dreams of our future daughter, each one more vivid than the last. Each one revealing God’s graciousness in our waiting. Each one, leading me on, renewing my hope, giving me the strength to keep on going.

She is still so far from home. Even so, the dawn will break and we will welcome her with arms and hearts wide open. Her little life will light our world in ways we could not have anticipated. She will be our good and perfect gift from the Father of Lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

Lord, give me a steady heart. One that has known your faithfulness and remembers your goodness. You are my steady, unwavering, never changing, Father of Lights. You illuminate my path, always leading me on, ever closer, to my one true and steady home, You, Lord Jesus.